


(How Do You) Heal A Broken Heart

by Quinn_F



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 03:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17093270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinn_F/pseuds/Quinn_F
Summary: I can't believe what i just heardCould it be trueAre you the girl I thought I knewThe one who promised me her loveWhere did it goDoes anybody ever knowTonight I'll hold what could be rightTomorrow I'll pretend toWake and put it all behind meAnd find that I know how to let you go...





	(How Do You) Heal A Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song title from Chris Walker. 
> 
> Also, some events may have been interchanged.

**Heal A Broken Heart**

 

_I can't believe what I just heard_

_Could it be true?_

_Are you the girl I thought I knew?_

_The one who promised me her love_

_Where did it go?_

_Does anybody ever know?_

  You were the exemption. A pretty blonde, miss perfect girl next door; who everyone loved because you were nice to them and in turn they too were nice to you. You stand your ground to anyone who hurts people’s feelings, just because they can. You are the only living thing in Riverdale that is still worth something, you can be something.

Being the only daughter of the wealthiest family in town, I can be a brat. You keep being in the receiving end whenever I run my mouth at how annoyingly sweet our siblings can be. No matter how monstrous I get or how obnoxious I become you always, always find a way to bring out my soft spot.

“Do you know how much prettier you get when you smile, Cher?” You would ask when you see me frown during our siblings’ rendezvous.

“Shut up, blondie! I’m not in the mood for your suck up.” I would bite back, but you would just nod and look at me understandably. Sometimes hiding the blush is just the only way to go.

“Do you want to watch Netflix?” You offered reaching out the other piece of your headset. It will be much sufferable to watch a romantically sick movie, than watch Polly bat her ridiculously long lashes at my brother, _so why not?_

The two of us would sit at the back of the red Impala and share a headset with a movie already prompted on Netflix. Night outs with our siblings had gradually increased and by then I’ve come to memorize the scent Betty wears on a daily basis. Mondays and Wednesdays it was citrusy, Tuesdays was vanilla almost exclusively. On Thursdays and Fridays, she would smell of coconut.

My favorite is on weekends when she smells like lavender so, when Betty would leaned back almost pressing to my arms, the smell of her lulls me to sleep.

 

I paused the movie and tossed the headset back at her “Ugh! This movie is so much sufferable with popcorn.”

“Oooh, I’m glad you said that.” Betty jumped out of her seat and out of the car.

“This outings are becoming a constant things, so…. I got Polly to buy this portable popcorn maker from Amazon.” Betty stood up, popped (no pun intended) the trunk, and struggle to find the machine she was bragging about to me.

It definitely picked my interest, just thinking about freshly popped corm made me salivate “How are you gonna power that up?”

“It’s supposed to work on battery, electricity or through an USB connector.” Betty opened the box and read the instructions, a crease forming in between her brows; she looked so serious I almost find It cute.

“Aha!” Betty pulled a long cable for the USB connector, luckily for us; Jason had a few trinkets to make the connections personalized for a vintage car like the Imapala '61.

She went to the driver’s seat and connected the red machine into the car “Let’s try that baby up!” I jumped in the passenger seat in excitement with Betty being all smiles and was animatedly moving about.

Another lucky moment because the package contains a packet of dried up corn kernels and a flavor mix powder (beggars cannot be choosy), just enough for us to try it. She places it on top of the dashboard to ensure it’s secure before we powered it up.

After putting all the corn kernel contents into the machine, she Betty powered it up and we watched it light up, until the first corn popped. We danced in cheer and side hugged each other.

“Erm” Betty cleared her throat and looked at me confusingly.

“Mmm… Right…” I tried to nudge her shoulder, pushing her away. She just smiled.

I cocked my head towards the machine while we both sat there still. “Did it say how long we had to wait for it to finish?”

“Ahhh..” She glanced back at the instructions. “Let’s wait till the popping stops?” Betty suggested.

“Sounds reasonable.” I agreed.

The machine soon after started popping crazy, there was a brown bag where you can transfer all the puffy goodness. The machine is awesome, I thought of buying yourself one, when I get home.

After collecting all the popcorn, we went out of the car, fixed the mess, and placed the machine back into the box.

“Do you mind if I put some milk duds in?” Betty asks getting my attention away from the wondrous machine.

I made a face that seemed to shock Betty. “Have you never tried to eat it with milk duds?” she asked incredulously.

I stared back at her just as disbelievingly, _is this some kind of trend I don’t know of?_

 

Betty came near me, 2 puffs of popcorn in hand and a milk dud in the middle, she stop in front of me and instructed me to open my mouth. “Here…aaaah”

I slightly opened up my mouth; just enough for her to pop the concoction in, her thumb lingering on top my lips, cleaning up the smear of chocolate on them. The act was so sensual I froze to the ground, and what shocked me most is when she suck into the thumb that was just in my mouth.

“Hmmm, yum! See?” Betty smiled alluringly, and it just left me dumbfounded, not trusting my voice to speak, so I only nodded.

Betty stepped into my space and she touched my lips with her thumb again. My eyes flutter as I feel her warm breath.

“On second thought, it taste so much better with your cherry Chapstick.” Betty freaking Cooper winks at me, just like magnet, I was leaning in to her, and then she took a step back.

I blinked a couple of times, trying not to look like a kicked puppy. “Hey Betty!” I heard Polly called with Jason on her trail. She looked at me as if to explain why she did what she did, leaning away from me.

“Hey Che. What are you two nerds up to?” Jason asked as he threw his big arms over my shoulders. It made me lose my balance. Jason had to help steady me whilst laughing.

“What’s wrong twinnie? You looked flushed!” Jason examined my face, he knows me to well that with just one glance, and I would be caught red handed.

“Yeah, what’s wrong Cher?” Betty chimed in brow arched, her eyes teasing,

“Are you going to get sick?” Polly asked. “Did you make her watch those gory movies again?” Polly chastised her sister. She kept looking back at me, trying to fan me up.

“Calm your pits, nothing’s wrong.” I tried to snarl back at them, gaining my confidence.

“I…” I tried to think of something “just thought I saw a butterfly…”

Jason raised his eyebrow, as if asking _really_? _Here?_ Polly’s waiting for me to continue gesturing with her hand “Anddd, did you?”

“Turned out, it was just a dirty little bird.”

Betty laughed aloud, startling everyone. “Are you sure it’s a bird, Cheryl?” she asked with that ridiculously arched brow again.

“Because it does look like a butterfly, attracted to a very beautiful orange flower.” The younger blonde explained.

If I was not already sinking from the ground before, I am definitely sinking fast now. Betty is casting me a devious stare, it made my inside flip and flop. _What are you doing to me, Betty?_

I don’t know what possessed Betty, but after that day she started becoming confidently flirty around me. She must sense how I grow tensed at every stare, or how I, voted most articulate, stutters whenever spoken. Her every touch started to linger, she even drives me crazy with her banter.

Sometimes, Jason would tell me Betty arranged for an activity for Him and Polly, and the later I’d find out, thru Betty herself how she just wanted to spend time with me. _Imagine that._

So when it was my turn, I’d make movie plans or a trip at the next town. I’d tell Jason that I just wanted him to be happy and spending time with Polly brings that. Our two siblings would buy it all the time; it was an excuse for **US** to hang out with each other.

One afternoon, as I was contemplating how we got to where we are. Why me, Cheryl bombshell, is suddenly craving for Betty “high ponytail” Cooper, I came to realize that at first, her flirty demeanor ticks me, it drove me crazy how someone as perfect as her would want to spend time with the most damaged girl in town.

She would tell me it’s silly that I think like that. Her touch becoming warmer in a friendly way and her smirk and stares became warm smiles that reaches her eyes. It makes me smile just as bigger.

She had been my godsend for the majority of our summer break. She’s probably the only other person next to Jason who actually enjoys my company, or gets my humor. The only other one who gets fiercely protective, even to the smallest of things, like being under too much sun. It is after all too much for my delicate skin to take.

“Cheryl, maybe you should go home. You’re skin is burning up again.” Jason calls out concerned after seeing me take off my jacket from the rising heat of the sun. “Can you take her home?” he turned to Betty asking her a favor.

“Of course.” Polly mouthed a thank you to her sister.

“Bring the Impala. Cheryl’s sensitive skin won’t be able to take anymore sun. Please put the top up.” Jason reminded, looking at his twin knowingly.

“Are you okay, Cher?” Betty asked once we got to my room.

“Uhuh. I just needed to get out of these clothes.” The lines of the sunburn is already starting to itch and sting.

I underdress quickly that I all but forgot the bruises on my torso until I saw the gob smacked look on Betty.

“Cheryl, honey…” Betty came up to me and traced her fingers along the darker and faint lines of bruises that littered my back and torso. I would winced every now and then. She had a sad look in her eyes while biting on her lips so hard it might draw blood.

“That’s from cheering practice.” What a stupid lame excuse, I had to roll my eyes to myself, there wasn’t even school to begin with.

“Some of these looks fresh.” Betty countered as if hearing through my thoughts. She was looking at me questioningly.

I was speechless at the look of concern she’s giving me. Jason is the only other person who knows about the bruises. He has not seen that it had gotten this bad, otherwise he would have a fistfight with our.

“It doesn’t hurt that much.” I tried to convince her, but she pressed on one of the bruises firmer to attest my protest. She saw me winced in pain, so she kneeled on the floor and pushed my back towards her face, peppering light kisses on my waist, my back and stomach.

I reached at the back of her head and held it while she kisses my body. I grabbed her ponytail to let loose of her hair, she looked up to me fire in her eyes.

“Betty….” I whispered and she stood up, towering a little over me.

“Cheryl….” She whispered back, her breath warm on my face, her eyes looking softly at me, she was about to lean in and I was pushing forward, but then she stepped back and pretended nothing happened.

“If you’re decent enough, let’s watch some HBO.”

“Right. Let me put my shirt on.” I awkwardly cleared my throat.

The day ended with us watching TV, like the rest of the coming days. Betty making me laugh, with her soft touches and concerned questions, she doesn’t voice it but I know she’s deeply concerned about me.

 

One afternoon when Jason and Polly snuck out on us, we were on her bed, watching on her laptop. My head is lying on her shoulder, her arm wrap around me, our hand were intertwined and her other hand was playing with my hair.

I’m almost asleep when her mother came barging on the door, she abruptly stopped, stunned to see another of her daughter tangled with a Blossom.

“Get your hands away from that abomination, Betty!” Mrs. Cooper yanked Betty up from me, causing me to tumble down on the bed. I struggled a little to get up, when I saw her shadow tower against the beddings.

“Is Jason taking Polly away not enough? Did you have to play kick puppy to get my Elizabeth too?” she asked lucidly her chastising stare terrified me. Apparently, one mother’s verbal and physical beating is not enough for me in this lifetime.

I wanted to say I was sorry, that me and Betty were only hanging out, that I will never take her away from her family, but finding my voice from all the stifled cry I can’t seem to answer.

Betty shook her mother’s arm. “Mom, mom!” Betty yanked to make the older woman look at her. “Don’t say that. I love Cheryl!” Betty shouted and Mrs. Cooper and I both have our jaws dropped.

“You couldn’t possibly. This girl is horrible! Or have you forgotten?” Mrs. Cooper argued.

I could hear any more of what Mrs. Cooper was saying, my focus was on Betty. “Do you really?” I asked, wanting to make sure I heard her right, and she nodded.

“No, lady red! Not you too. You are not going to take Betty away.” Mrs. Cooper spitted.

However, Betty was taking the lead; she went to the other side of the bed towards me and grabbed my hand to leave.

“Let’s go Cher. Mom, will you chill? I’m going out with Cheryl. Don’t follow us.” Betty warned her mother.

We ran to the car, leaving most our things behind. She drive aimlessly and with a frown.

“You didn’t have to do that, Betty.” I told her sadly reaching for her hand, her grip at the stick too tight. She breathed slowly and finally sighed, she took a turn and drove to one of the river banks we used to frequent with Jason and Polly.

When the car stopped, she stepped out without saying anything, she stood out and kicked a few stones and leaves on the ground. When she seemed content enough to have let her frustrations out, she came to my door and helped me out.

We sat at one of the benches, just contemplating through the quietness of the place. “Your mom’s right. I am a horrible human being. I am unlovable. Something to kick and punch to let your frustrations out.” I cried through the words, something I always hear people say about me and I am starting to believe to be true.

 

Betty was startled at my outburst and she just held me tight, hushing the tears away. She hugged me and rocked me till I stop crying. When all the sniffles are gone. Betty lifted my chin up and she gave me a soft and languid kiss. It was so slow and passionate I’m brought back to tears again.

 

Betty stopped when she felt her cheek wet from my tears and tasted the saltiness of my tears through our kiss.

“Stop crying baby girl.” Betty whispered she was so captivating that I did what she asked.

When we got home and the wrath has died down, Betty had been nothing but sweet to me. She fought for me every day and I did as much for her when my parents find out. Jason was every bit supportive but was just too fed up and wanted, no, needed to get away. He begged me for it and because I loved him and promised to comeback for me, I helped him with his plans.

 

We staged an accident; we were at Sweetwater River in a boat, he fell of the water, and the current has taken him and he didn’t get to the other side. Jason left me behind with our horrible family. He left a very pregnant Polly and everything else went South from there.

 

The last days of summer break, Betty slowly drifted away. There were promises of _I’ll make it up to you_ , _tomorrow, next time._ Betty dropped it so easily, itching; so she can dodge another day spent with me crying about Jason.

Betty’s mother would be so proud of her if she knew how Betty has finally followed her advice and ditch me. How her youngest daughter has left me to lick my very deep Blossom wounds.

 

 _She’s an abomination_ , _Betty!_ Her mother’s words echoing through my mind. _I love her_ , _mom!_ Her scream louder it seemed at first, but now all I hear are her excuses to spend time with Kevin watching over Archie from across her window.

 

 _And were you ever what you seemed_ _Or was I a fool who fell in love_ _With his own dream_ _And now you say you want to leave_ _Start a new life today_ _Those words I thought you'd never say_

I have been hearing from people around your neighborhood that you and Archie had started to hangout more after his construction gig with his dad during the summer. Kevin even commented a drooling emoji saying, _“Archie got hot!”_

 

Sure, Archie’s Efron-esque emergence from the chrysalis of puberty was evident throughout Riverdale High’s forums. Did a few days of fawning over Archie’s abs top weeks of our love affair that easily? Was I just some sort of a summer fling? Did Betty ever mean what she said; are any of those moments true?

 

I cried myself to sleep for yet another night. Even the ache of new bruises are of no comparison to my slowly dying heart.   


To make things even worse for me, because life’s misfortunes’ favorite happens to be me, on the weekend before school started they found Jason’s body floating ashore. _He was supposed to come back_. I keep telling myself. _Why didn’t you come back, Jay-jay? What happened_?

I called Betty because I couldn’t stop crying and mother doesn’t even budge to console her daughter. Betty is the only one who can keep me calm, who can make me calm. I fumbled through the pads of my phone, obviously about to have panic attack.

 

“Hello?” Betty sounded unsure who was at the other end of the line, had I been reduced to an unsaved number?

“Betty, it’s Cheryl…” I tried to speak through my closing throat. “Jason… he’s…” I tried not to cry not only because Jason’s dead but because there is dead air at the end of the other line.

“I know. We’re going to the Sweetwater River now.” Her voice was cold and restraint. My stopped beating.

 

“Oh… Okay… I wanted to come too, but I might not be able to handle it, mummy and daddy said to stay behind if that is the case.” I mumbled.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Cher. I will see you there. We’re leaving now. I got to go.” She hanged up not a second more. I thought hearing me weep is going to change things, that she’ll coming running to my side. Even if it were out of pity, I would take it, because I miss her and because I love her.

“Okay. See y---” Betty has already hanged up even before I said the words ‘see you’.

 

At the Sweetwater River, people gathered not because they are saddened or because they wanted to give their condolences, but to watch a downfall in one of the wealthiest family in Riverdale.

 

I knew Betty saw my mother dragging me behind her. Mother was clearly blaming me or wishing that it were I instead. “Jason is dead because of you, Cheryl!”

 

Was I pathetic for saying _bonus_ that Betty looked sorry for me? She didn’t even stand in the way of a shove, “Out of the way, lady red. I have news to cover.” Mrs. Cooper casted me aside.

 

“It was the best move to leave her, Elizabeth. You can’t be dragged down by this news.” The older blonde spoke, not breaking eye contact from me, making sure Betty agrees with her mother.

 

At school the next day, a new student came in. A threat to the family business which gave mother another reason to threaten me with no food (which I don’t mind, it was only Betty who ever insisted I eat), no car to school and no Vixen. My Vixens is the only thing that makes me who I am, my cheering squad builds my reputation at school.

 

I cannot handle if they take that away from me too, so I comply to watch over the new girl. School had been so much harder now knowing Jason will never come back or that Betty will never be by my side.

Mr. Weatherbee had me called to the principal’s office. _You have to recruit Veronica, no matter what. Her family has a big endowment to this school,_ he commanded _._ My authority and possession of the squad completely stripped off. _Didn’t daddy paid for my squad?_ I asked him back, I saw the man clenched his jaw, clearly taken aback, so he targeted my GPA instead. Despite it being pristine, an endorsement from the principal for when I go to college will be a big deal. So once again, I comply.

Finding the new girl is easy, where I’ll find her is where it gets hard, because who else would show the new girl around the school than Betty?

 

Inviting Veronica, turns out the new girl’s name is, was easy although Veronica wanted Betty to join too. I casted Betty a look, trying to maintain the HBIC façade. It’s one of the few things I have control of, and I couldn’t have that taken away, not even for Betty. She did break my heart over in such a short time.

“Betty, you’re trying out too.” Veronica said. “Fine. Although it looks like Betty has so much in her plate right now” I dropped my gaze ah her lunch tray, portraying disgust, the two girls following my gaze “Open for all. See you!” I agreed and left.

Later that afternoon, Betty and Veronica made a lame ass performance. _Huh, now is my chance to rip Betty into pieces. After all, I am captain of the squad; I could get away with being brutal with my feedback._

“Ladies, where’s the fire? Where’s the sizzle? I need girls with fire in my sqaud!” I snarled, sounding bored.

“You just haven’t seen our finish yet.” Veronica chimed, grabbing hold of Betty’s shoulder _don’t freak-o_ ut, the brunette whispered. Veronica kissed Betty, and Betty was kissing her back just as passionate.

I keep telling myself to avoid looking, to keep it together, and to say what I needed to say and get going. After their shared smooch, Betty at least had the decency to feel embarrassed about her participation in the kiss. My sanity could not take this much this constant. My soul and heart already been shredded, losing my mind too will be my ultimate demise.

“Check your sell-by-date ladies, faux lesbian kissing hasn’t been tabooed since 1994.” I started off, rolling my eyes at them. “Now let us see how you’d do in the interview part” Because as captain, I can push Betty’s buttons and because she knew very well standing up to me in public will ruin her perfect girl next door image, she shut her mouth and let me shred her.

Maybe the two of us all forgot about Veronica, because not a second later, she kept coming at me. Saving her knew found bestie from the bitch captain.

After Veronica’s takedown, I just left, I mean, haven’t I already lost? Why stay behind in a room full of girls staring at me, finding victory from their new teammate’s takedown of me, _their villain._

I could not go home so I stayed in my car; luckily, I parked at the farthest of the lot. I have spaced out maybe couple of minutes when I heard the opposite door open, and Betty climbed in and sat on the passenger’s seat.

She sat there, looking at me, sighing because I wouldn’t look back. “Cheryl, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Her voice sounded so distant so controlled. When I looked back at her with pleading eyes, I wanted her to tell me she still loves me. I wiped the tears that started to flow uncontrollably, whilst reaching for her hand. She inched away from me, shaking her head. "We’re no longer together, you know that, right?” Betty asked rhetorically.

I choked, laughing humorlessly. “Do I, Betty?” I asked, not bothering with the torrent of tears.

Her stupid beautiful face was just staring back at me. “Because one day you stopped calling, the next day you stopped coming to me and then the day after you stop caring and make do of your promises? So what? You truly don’t care anymore?”

I was having on a full on rant for having to hold back this long. “Sure Betty. Were broken up. Now, please go.” I shoved her, yanking the door open, daring her to go, and to my horror, she left.

You were supposed to be the exemption. You don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. You are the vicar of girl power, you vigil for those who were oppressed, right? Just not for me, not anymore, maybe not ever.

 

_How do you heal a broken heart_

_That feels like it will never beat this much again_

_Oh no_ _I just can't let go_

_How do you heal a broken heart_

_That feels like it will never love this much again_

_Oh no_

 

Veronica and Betty were inseparable for the first few days of school, and I try to avoid them as much as possible. The girls from the squad forced me to host a party where the inevitable HS games are going to be the present.

We played spin the bottle with a twist. As host, I will choose the first person to pair with whomever the person is when the bottle stops.

“I choose A, for Archie.” I grabbed the bottle and started spinning it. It landed on the new girl. Now, here is the next twist. The two will play 7 minutes in heaven. Therefore, Veronica and Archie walked in to a closet, to do God know what.

High school kids are like preschoolers who loses interest easily, the remaining of the players went to do what they pleased and I took the time to seat by myself and contemplate the victory of my plan.

Betty was obviously pissed, no longer able to contain her feelings whilst she wait, she left the circle and went to the couch were I am seated at.

She slumped to the seat next to me. I looked back at questioningly. I was about to say something when she cut me off. “Cheryl, let’s talk.” she dragged me to my room.

She forcibly closed the door and pushed me against it. She started ravishing me hungrily. For a moment, I got lost in the heated exchange. _This is all wrong, it feels so wrong_ , so I pushed her away, there was fire in her eyes but she looked back at me confused.

“What are you doing, we can’t…” I said despite the longing in my heart, I want my old Betty not this version of her. I have to save something for myself. I cannot be this desperate.

We only stared at each other, she must have sensed the want in my eyes that she was about to try and come at me again when there was knocking at my the door. It was enough to break the eye contact.

 

It was the two lovebirds, begging their blonde friend to hear them their explanation. Of course, Betty went out, no regards about leaving me, I was after all competing with both Veronica and Archie.

 

Without so much as a goodbye, Betty left. I stood there, hair a mess, makeup smeared, Veronica spared once glance, clearly still pissed at my earlier game plans. She didn’t look smug, but she didn’t looked sorry for me either.

Betty loves writing amongst other things, I heard about Betty focusing on reviving the blue and gold school paper. I reckon that she thinks it’s the fastest way for her to be able to get over her two best friends’ affair. Veronica and Archie became a couple, and although it seemed harder for Betty at first, she has gotten over it, but not as fast as she got over me.

A couple weeks since the Blue and Gold’s first article, I found that Betty and Jughead became an icon. I just knew then that I just had to move on, no matter how hard it is. Betty was the only other person that made me feel alive. Loved. She was the only person who made me feel that I mattered. But dammit, I want to forget.

I thought I have gotten used to Betty, Jughead, and their sad breakfast club group. I was doing fairly well, I didn’t lose more weight, just enough not to be borderline anorexic.

But like what I said, life’s misfortunes favorite is me, after sometime news about my father killing Jason surfaced. FP; Jughead’s dad, helped clean up all its traces.

I have lost it yet again. I keep spiraling down, just about when I’m mid-way up to normalcy. When Jughead came up to me to apologize. I plunged at him, letting all my frustrations over what happened to Jason and his father’s connection to it. Moreover, if I were being honest because he still has Betty.

Archie run towards us and of course it was me they had to restrain. I shrugged Archie’s grip and rushed to the nearest restroom to cry it all out. There is no way to hide it, people already now that I am broken, no sense in hiding it anymore. I heard the door open, but I didn’t bother to check who it was.

“He didn’t do anything, Cheryl.” I saw Betty’s reflection in the mirror when I looked up. I just stared back, searching for the Betty I shared the whole summer with. Maybe a piece of her still cares about me.

“I barely touched him.” I defended and she wanted to disagree.

“People are coming up to me and hugging me, saying I must be relieved that Jadon’s killer has been found.” I looked at her to see if she was going to say anything. Nothing.

“But why doesn’t it feel that way?” I clenched at my chest. Crying so hard. Betty was just starring back.

 

Mother was furious at me for some reason I can no longer keep up on. Maybe it was because dad committed suicide, mum suggesting the same for me. Maybe she’s right, maybe I needed to just end it all. The noblest thing to do is leave this world, and rid them of my abomination.

I started gathering a few things. I spoke to a few people, starting with Jughead. I apologized for plunging at him. His father is in jail and since he was at risk of going to foster care, I ought to give him my antique 24k diamond spider brooch.

 

“This may not be enough, but could sure buy you years’ worth of burgers and a roof over your head.”

 

Next on my list was Veronica, I gave the girl my HBIC shirt, nothing is worth more to an equally wealthy girl, but the position I held in school. Veronica tried to ask what is up with me.

 

“You don’t have to give this to me. I was only proving a point in the dance off.” Veronica smiled.

 

“I know. But I am a queen of her word.”

 

“What’s up with you, Cheryl? First you give Jughead your iconic brooch now this?” Veroncia gestured to the shirt in her hand.

 

“Something wrong? You know you can talk to me, right?” Veronica urged. “Nothing’s wrong. I promised.”

 

Veronica saw all telltale signs leading to my suicide attempt, luckily for me Veronica and Archie rushed to the river to stop me after sending her that text, _I’m going to end where it all started._

 

Maybe it was my last attempt for a cry for help. I didn’t realize she was keen enough to take notice, only if the new girl has the same compassion as Betty. “Cheryl! Come back to the shore” Veronica screamed. I was already standing in the middle of the frozen river.

 

Jughead stopped the rest of them from coming to me any further at fear of the ice breaking. “Guys, be careful” he stopped at the cracking sound.

 

When I turned, I saw the pained expression in Veronica, Archie was all-protective and Betty and Jughead were of fear and disbelief respectively.

Then the ice broke and all hell broke loose and the two pair ran to me. The current was rapid but since it was almost to freezing point, Archie was able to get hold of me after breaking the ice to where the current has brought me.

After almost drowning at the frozen river, Veronica brought me to her house to dry and heat up a little. For at least a few minutes Veronica comforted me, she brought me hot cocoa whilst sitting by the fire. “Here, drink up. I put in a splash of peppermint liqueur.” She winked for good measure.

I smiled my thanks, sipping on the hot beverage. She excused her herself so her mother can speak with her. “What is she doing here? We’re going to be late!” It was a shame her Mrs. Lodge didn’t want me to stay around. I told them I’d just finish my drink and I’ll be on my way.I mean, what else can I do?

 

Days pass by and Jughead and Betty was determined to free FP. One afternoon, after cheer practice, Betty caught up with me at the lockers.

I have tried dodging her, for days, anyone really after the events at the river. I’ve been waiting for every last of the girls to finish before I change myself, but that afternoon, Betty sneaked up on me.

She came by the lockers one afternoon, sure that I’d be there. Another reason why I stay last is so that I won’t have to cover the fresher bruises left by mom. I felt frigid when she saw me that I covered myself up. She took tentative steps toward me and she stopped my hand. She traced through the bruises much Iike she did that summer. She visibly gulped and stared at me sadly.

When she dropped her hands to her sides her demeanor changed a few shades darker. “You will _help_  drop the charges against my boyfriend’s dad.” She spoke so gravely.

I squared my shoulders ready to rebuttal, but she saw right through it “Or else I will show the whole town the video…” she threatens, dangling the usb to my face.

"I thought you gave that to Sheriff Keller?" I asked, sounding tired.

"I did, not until I copy it to Jughead's laptop." she said, trying to make a point.

“If I do, give me the flash drive and delete all your copies as well, okay?” Betty agreed, staring me down.

“You’re a stone cold bitch.” I told her and she only held gaze with me, until she turn to leave.

 

_Tonight I'll hold what could be right_

_Tomorrow I'll pretend to_

_Wake and put it all behind me_

_And find that I know how to let you go..._

  


The whole court appointment happened too fast; in the end, Betty forced my hand not to hold any accountability to FP. She was sitting at the audience across the stand. I did and say what I had to do, I saw my mother’s livid gaze, _I’ll worry about that later._ But cases like these takes several appeals so for now, the jury was adjourned, they consider it a win because FP can post bail.

 

Pop’s diner was on its way to rising from the ashes, FP started working in there, so Betty wanted to make sure they’d be able to have more customers come in. She wanted to for it to have its exposure so she invited local band Josie and the pussycats. She hijacked the Pussycats, and forced them to sing at the benefit of Pop's diner.

Because Josie was surprise about the whole set-up, she came to the diner furious at Betty, but also couldn’t let her fans down. However, Joise was down a cat and since I was already there, I told her that I can fill in and sing with them. This is definitely an impromptu, it was a good thing I have been to a number of Josie’s rehearsal to be accustomed to her musical style.

Josie always makes sure her number is captivating; we used the roof of the diner as a makeshift stage. At the top, you can see everyone, every student of Riverdale high looking up at us, excited for great show. I stared down the ground; _it will be so easy to end it_. Once again, feelings of death consumed me. Josie came up to me and ask if I was okay, she has been updated of everything that has happened to me and she made sure I never think about suicide again, in hindsight, the roof was a bad idea.

Again, from the top I can see Betty happy with Jughead. Even if it still rips my heart into pieces, I forced myself to be happy for her. I had my chance to feel loved even if it were just for a few weeks. Even when after all those unfortunate events. I knew that had to get through this performance; I could not let another person down.

After the performance, I went to Betty and Jughead asking for the hard drive, asking them to swear that there were no more copies, they swore, so I sighed and I left.

While everybody else was busy enjoying his or her milkshake, burgers and the company of their friends, I sat at the farthest booth, contemplating about my life. Ending it crossed my mind twice. Both times, there were people to see thru it, and pull me out of it. _Thank God for that._ Maybe I’m still lucky.

All I wanted is for someone to love me and for the moment to last. For right now, what I want is to start moving on, to let go of all of my feelings for Betty, no matter how long or how difficult it will take. I will make sure that I get there. I just have to start trying even if I have to pretend in the beginning, what is important is I start somewhere.

 

_How do you heal a broken heart_

_That feels like it will never love this much again_

_O _h no_ _Tonight I'll hold what could be right__

__Tomorrow I'll pretend to let you go__

 


End file.
